Sunday, 4 January 2015

Am I Just Shy or is it....Social Anxiety? | Zahra

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Being shy is a natural thing, I mean there's shy to be polite or just out of nerves, but then there's the shy that takes over you.

Naturally I'm a very shy person. 
At school, I'm the person with the report (that you get after every term) that always has something on the lines of 'Zahra's a very good student but is very shy and doesn't participate a lot during lessons.' I guess I could actually take that as criticism because they are sort of criticising my personality- I can't help that I've just grown up to be shy. 

For me (school wise) English and the lessons where the teacher just picks on anyone to answer a question are the worst. The question picking because I think I'm scared of people judging me for how I phrase it or if I get the answer wrong. English is probably worse- I like the subject itself, but the bits where you actually have to participate, yeah I don't like those.
Recently, I had to do a presentation on hobbies/interests etc... and I was so, so nervous to the pint that I was tempted to take a couple of days off school just so I didn't have to do it. It's kind of the same concept when it comes to reading out loud; when I know it's my turn soon I'm crapping myself (not literally!) and I'm constantly thinking about stuttering (which I often do) and speaking SUPER quietly (again, oftenly done-'oftenly' isn't a word is it?)

Sometimes it gets to the point if, I'm in public, where I have to tell myself that I'm probably never going to see these people again and just walk if someone is just near me. Ordering things at a restaurant of cafe (basically just Starbucks or Costa tbh) is kind of a big deal too- I have to mentally prepare answers for things that are basically a yes/no answer eg. 
staff: 'do you want cream on that?' 
me: *OMG umm, what if I seem rude, what if they don't have any left and they ask me for something else* 
'uhh, yeah.. please'
*no that was too forced, just smile and pretend nothing happened*

I don't think I do suffer from social anxiety, or maybe just very mildly, but I do know that I am a very shy person around a lot of people and you know, I can't help that that's just how I've grown up, but I do hope that it doesn't affect my life anymore than it already does.
I do wish that I could do things confidently and talk openly with people, and have conversations with random people.
If you suffer from social anxiety, or like me, you're very shy, what do you do to try and combat it (if you can)?
And if you can't, maybe try making one of your resolutions to not give a *'fish'* what people think and to talk without feeling like you're about to die.

To be honest I only like the sky of this picture :') - From Google

On a happier note, I will leave you with this picture of a cat

Siberian Forest Cat- Creds to Google
When I move into my own house, I'm getting this cat, end of.

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